10 tips how to be assertive

They say that the audacity - the second happiness. Of course, this is not so, and no one likes insolent. But have the nerve to have the second half, and "good twin" - perseverance. Along with persistence it will be useful to us every day as a personal communication, and in an emergency situation. So by this "second happiness" may be just perseverance.

Heroine tells us how to behave and what to do every day to become more assertive, and therefore - it is easier to achieve his.

1. Use a visual motivation

To learn how to achieve your goals, you need a more specific can represent exactly what you want. Our thinking is arranged in such a way that the more abstract our desire, the harder it is to us to imagine how we will go to him. For example, if you want to save money for a trip to Europe, we can not dwell on such vague wording. Thoughtful and write - or even Sketch - everything to the last detail. Where, how and on what you ride, where you will stay, what sights you will see, what things gather in the baggage and what souvenirs you bring a friend. So once you can figure out approximately how much money you need to save - and the goal has become much clearer.

If you want, for example, to lose weight, not only to develop the overall pictures dream figure, but also visualize their own weight. For example, the pencils of gather pyramid, wherein each pencil to symbolize 100 grams overweight. Get out a pencil to 1 for every 100 grams of weight loss and see how this pyramid is melting before our eyes.

2. Divide into small steps

Once you have decided on their own goal, break it down into as many as possible of the simplest steps. Then carry out these small steps religiously and do not stop until you get through them all one by one. Each such small tasks to perform much easier than thinking about the global problem entirely. For example, you want to get a raise. Think about what you need to do and someone to talk to? Make a list of their working achievements and arguments for higher wages, speak to the immediate supervisor of the possibility of such an action, find out who to speak directly, to calculate the estimated gain, write it, select the appropriate time. If a point is not to perform work, then reconsider the plan and make any adjustments to it.

3. Respect yourself and others

It is very difficult to learn to respect themselves and others equal. Roots grow painfully shy, strange as it seems, not from false modesty, but because of the unequal treatment of people. It is important to understand that others do not want to hurt you, to do good or to offend. Therefore, you have the right to demand from them respect for his own person, in exchange for respect for them. Do not be silent, if you have something to say, do not be afraid of new acquaintances, do not be afraid to refuse and insist on - all these are signs of respect for people. Reasoned criticism - it is also a sign of respect, so do not be shy sometimes criticize others in a gentle manner, if you can explain their own view of the situation.

4. Keep an eye on the outside of the question

In the case of persisting important role played by external attributes. Willy-nilly, you'll have to interact with other people. To still be persistent and seek their own, have focused on the external manifestation of emotion, to pose and posture. Keep your back straight, which will give self-confidence, do not hide your eyes, do not raise your voice or whisper. The more smoothly and quietly you will behave, the more likely that you from the first time will be able to implement his plan. If you are difficult to immediately change the strategy of external behavior, then go back to Step 2 of our list and sign all possible actions on small steps: it is better to wear, how to monitor the posture, gestures which make self-confident people. In all this, you can help monitor the insistent people, or reading books and articles on popular psychology. For example, something about body language. Do not worry if all at once will not work, and try to embed external habit persistence and self-confident person at a time. Very soon they will be inseparable from you.

5. Encourage your luck

In order to achieve success, you need to think positively. To begin, make a list of your good qualities and strengths. Before starting any important matter, do not forget to view it, update and positive charge. Keep all creditable letters, thank you notes and just quotes from correspondences, where you appreciate.

In this case, do not forget to praise itself from time to time - for a well-made thing, their perseverance or luck another necessarily themselves encouraged.

It may be just an entry in a special "blog wins," marking a blog or tile favorite chocolate. The main thing - emotional message.

6. The approach to the business complex

Remember that in the case of persisting there are no unnecessary details. Any detail that we're talking about, must be taken into account. If you'll be missing some steps as being too obvious, then at the right moment all the general strategy can not work due to some small plates. Try to always look at the problem holistically, then nothing can catch you by surprise. By the way, prepare for possible failure - is also a very useful thing. It must always be borne in mind. As soon as you start to achieve something, be sure to think through what you will do if carry out his plan will fail. Do not assume that it is ready to defeat - rather reasonable cover rears in the event of a tactical retreat.

7. Repeat until victory

Do not be afraid to repeat something, if the first time you have failed. Perhaps it will not be possible, and the second time, and even with the third - do not worry. Do not think that refer to one and the same person with the same question several times - it is intrusive or bothersome. Most of the issues, cases and problems requires multiple approaches, all the more so between them you will be able to analyze the mistakes and understand why it is not getting it done. There are also situations where plans to bring to life does not work for some reason certain specific and can not be otherwise. But this is a question of careful planning - you need to set realistic goals, and then to doubt the strategy of repetition is not necessary.

8. Be ready to cooperate

Almost always persistence suggests that you should be able to take care of others and be ready to help someone else. In this case, do not be shy, because mutual aid - the basis not only of teamwork, but also personal success. There is nothing wrong to ask the person to help do something, if you show that it is ready to provide him with their own capabilities instead. And it is absolutely necessary that it was a close friend or an old acquaintance - can and should help even unfamiliar people.

9. Analyze progress

After each small step on the way to its goal, after every important conversation and a small victory - or a small failure - always take a few minutes to analyze the action. What did you and what did not work? Do you think that you in this work? What could have been done better? What was the most difficult to make?

Formulate answers to these questions - and next time you will be much easier to perform a similar action.

As soon as you get used to analyze all of its activities, such an analysis will take a matter of seconds.

10. Consider everything that happens the game

Do not get too serious about persistence, success and other things that can put pressure on you mentally. Each person defines the boundaries of his success and personality. Think of everything that happens as a game, where the possibility of failure is only a small step, nothing meaningful to the overall picture. Relax and enjoy.