She survived and just
August 29, 1977 a girl weighing just over a kilo in wires and pipes laid in the neonatal unit. But nearby could not see the worried parents who would hold the baby's hand, desperately wishing that she had survived. Oden's mother Melissa (Melissa Ohden) left the hospital in Iowa, believing that the child died as a result of the saline abortion, which she did in her eighth month of pregnancy.
Abortion was unsuccessful, but Melissa's mother for 36 years, had no idea that the child survived. After Melissa learned about the dramatic beginning of his life, she spent almost two decades trying to find answers, and found that the biological mother did not want to have an abortion. Melissa also learned that her life she must nurse who heard the faint cry of a child, discarded as medical waste. In a series of gruesome details it turned out that was on duty that day, another nurse who instructed others "leave the child in the room to die." Amazingly, this nurse was a little girl my grandmother.
Learning is about my life, other people would become angry and violent. But Melissa, which is adopted by a loving family, reunited with her biological mother last year and found the strength to forgive.
"I learned that when my mother was 19, she was forced to have an abortion grandmother, who worked as a nurse in a hospital. Mom did not know that I survived. It was 30 years before she learned the truth. It was a long and painful journey from shame and anger to faith and forgiveness. "
The struggle for life
Sioux City Doctors Hospital in Iowa calculated that Melissa's mother was 31 weeks pregnant when she underwent a saline abortion - a method that is no longer used in the US and the UK. Melissa was suffering from jaundice, respiratory disorders and seizures. It was expected that, even if she survives, she will have problems with vision, hearing, and developmental delays. Three weeks later, the girl was transferred to a hospital in Iowa City. Nurses who care for the child, gave her clothes and booties. One of the nurses, Mary, decided that the newborn must be given a name, and called her Katie Rose. At the age of three months, the baby left the hospital. She was adopted by Linda and Ron Oden. Earlier the pair to adopt the girl Tammy four years older than Melissa.
Over the years, her adoptive parents and the nurse Mary kept in touch, exchanging postcards, letters and photos. When Melissa grew up, it became itself to communicate with Mary.
"Our friendship with Mary has been going on for several decades. It made me feel special, because the nurse caring for me when no one else did not do it. "
By five years caught up with Melissa on the development of peers and was completely healthy.
Parents never hid from the daughters that they foster. "Like all ordinary sisters, we are constantly arguing with Tammy. During one of the fights, when I was 14, she blurted: "At least, my parents wanted me!" "
"I ran to the adoptive parents, and they told me that I survived after a failed abortion. They did not want me to know it. That evening, my world collapsed. I was angry and frightened and I felt guilty for having survived. "
Most of the teenage years, Melissa held a huge emotional burden, she developed bulimia, and she is addicted to sex and alcohol.
"I drank a lot, to numb the pain. But parents do not understand that I'm sick, because I hid it carefully. "
Search for Truth
Melissa rallied and went to study political science at the University of South Dakota. Later, she learned that her biological mother was also there. Surprisingly, Melissa and her grandmother, the woman, because of which the girl's mother had an abortion, a professor at the University, where she studied, Melissa.
"At that time I did not know about it. But looking back, I wonder how we will not cross. "
In 19 years, the desire to learn more about the past just ate Melissa, and she started to look for the biological parents. The adoption papers had little information, and she moved back to Sioux City to be closer to archival records. Melissa spent her time reading newspapers, phone books and yearbooks in search of someone who would like her biological mother. Melissa even placed an ad in the newspaper for information. But all their efforts have been unsuccessful. However, after years of futile searching, Melissa finally found a clue. "I looked through the university yearbook and came across a woman who I thought was my grandmother. At this stage I did not know what role she played in my life. "
Melissa sent her a letter, but said the grandfather.
"He wrote that at the time of my birth was unwanted. He also made it clear that through them I can not find my mother, because they do not support the relationship. It was obvious that their relationship with their mother changed after I was born. "
Melissa and her husband.
Questions and answers
Melissa briefly abandoned the search. By the time she was married to Ryan. Now they have two daughters, the eldest Melissa gave birth in the same hospital, where she was born.
When Melissa was 36, a cousin of her biological mother contacted her. He told me that her parents were college students.
"My mother was involved in sports, and she had an irregular menstrual cycle, so she did not realize she was pregnant by me. I was told that she did not want to have an abortion, but my grandparents did not approve of her relationship with her father. For me it was a shock, these many years I thought that my mother did not want me. I was worried that my mother had to go through it. I learned that her sister came to the hospital and tried to pull his mother out of there, but the staff said that it was too late. "
Melissa wondered how it was possible to adopt it without the consent of the mother, and came to the conclusion that a forged signature.
Finally, after 17 years of searching, a cousin of the mother helped Melissa contact her.
"I can not even remember who first wrote. But I remember that we were both shocked. My mother had no idea that I'm alive. We talked for three years, before you meet. I think we're both afraid of failure. Then I met with the forces and offered to see. She enthusiastically agreed. When in May of last year we met, at first I wanted to escape. It was scary. We hugged each other and wept. She feels enormous guilt, but I told her that I do not blame her for anything. I forgive my father and my grandmother. "
Melissa learned that her grandmother passed away a few years ago. She also learned that she has two half sisters. On one of them, Melissa has already seen, on the other hand is expected to meet in the near future. With her mother she'd seen several times and maintains regular contact with her.
Melissa released a book about his life and founded a community of survivors of abortion, to support those who find themselves in the same position.
"I keep in touch with 223 survivors of abortion, mainly from the United States. By faith, I learned to forgive. It does not make good what happened, but it frees you from the pain. We are all human and we all make mistakes. "