As gender stereotypes spoil the child

Stereotypes about gender are beginning to haunt us even in kindergarten, but much earlier: in the hospital. On the statement of boys dressed in blue and girls in pink - now it's your color and do not dare to cross the line. Of course, in this age, children still do not understand, but some background is given. A kindergarten, a school, and even the initial stages of higher education will only continue to a common line, that girls and boys are different, so they need different ways to behave in different ways to dress up and have different needs. In this case, all children are cut by gender with the same brush. If you're a boy, you have to love football, war games, and cars, and do not you dare touch the dolls. If you are a girl, then sit quietly in a corner and do not run around, or else break it myself knees. Around the children built a kind of cell of the unspoken rules of behavior and expectations, which go beyond the desirable. Restrictions themselves are bad, but this is not the first nor the last minus system of education in which gender stereotypes are built.

Meet on clothes

It starts really with the clothes. At a certain moment the boys feel ashamed to wear tights, and girls - shorts, shorts even in the locker room of a teenage girl will not confuse anyone. Even in kindergarten, on television, there is a certain color and character code on the clothes associated with gender. For boys the colors should be neutral or dark, abstract patterns, or associated with "typical boy's" hobbies. Girls can wear soft colors, pastels, patterns of flowers, ribbons and hearts. Even cartoon characters will be split by gender: boys - robots, Transformers, superheroes, and girls - lovely creatures, small animals and princesses. If you have any garment or item with something purporting to be from the opposite sex, then you, first of all, laughed at the children themselves, the consciousness of which has already been introduced color and object code. "What do you like a girl?", "Why do men's shoes with cars put on?". And what if the girls like the transformers, and the boy - flowers or butterflies? Behind this may lie serious hobby, which in the future will grow into a good profession or hobby.

Robotics and mechanics in girls, boys biology - why not? "Interest" restrictions put on blinders to children of both sexes, causing, in some cases, to be ashamed of their own interests and preferences. Children can even start to form a neurosis, because they will not feel so, like everyone else, but it does not receive a clear explanation of what is wrong with their choice.

The individual moments can cause anxiety and open nature. For example, in cases of dispute gender identity. Purple color - "boyish" or "girly"? You can buy his son purple scarf with full confidence that this color close to blue or no color is gender, and he refused to wear it because it looks like a purple pink. Conflict and irritation from scratch.

The information that is read from social sources, eats deep in the subcortex, so that right from the tender age should talk with your child on the fact that social conventions are foolish and harmful. If he wants something to play or something to wear, do not let other children or teachers derogatory comment on it. And this is not the feminist education and upbringing in a healthy mode of tolerance.

Tikhonov and loafers

Clothing and toys - it's flowers. Far more profound is the impact on the behavioral patterns of girls and boys. Public unconscious believes that girls are more quiet, calm, collected, and the boys - certainly mobile, active and cocky. At the same time the boys can fight and to hit back, to play outdoor games and make a noise. For girls as a child lays the passive pastime, preferably doing something for the benefit. Girls are taught through play to the role of a housewife, but to hit back or defend themselves - ever. Moreover, if the girl in kindergarten or elementary school zateet fight to defend themselves for some reason, her talk will be strikingly different from similar conversation with the boy. If the boy abstractly talk about that fight bad, girl reprimanded for inappropriate behavior is like the female.

According to most educators, the girl should complain of any trouble and to shift them to other shoulders, and if it picks a fight with a boy who lifts it, in most cases it is "my fault." It is very similar to the so-called victim blaming (blaming the victim), when social responsibility is shifted to the injured party, especially in the case of violence. It turns out that the aggressive behavior of boys is encouraged, and the girl learns to take a passive role and "not substituted" as any of its behavior outside the routine will be evaluated as an opportunity for abuse, which she must endure because of their gender.

Such is the difference we are seeing in the system, instilling values. Caregivers and teachers proclaim the male and female virtues, based on the relevant literature and conversation. A man must be strong, must not cry and show emotions, it is necessary to develop the mind to make money and be the breadwinner. A woman should be beautiful, kind and obedient, and the mind is of secondary importance. If the boys will show the emotion and the girls - the power and intelligence, they begin to tease with the filing of these same stereotypes. So the child can turn inward and become depressed, especially against the background of the typical problems of gradual maturation.

There are no choices

Children and adolescents are highly dependent on the person who brings them. They can not independently navigate the realities of society, so rely on the surrounding loved ones in this matter. If parents ignore this topic, or bypassed, by default, the children will learn the generally accepted system of values, which is full of shortcomings and gaps in gender education. It does not give children freedom of choice, and if the parents do not explain the time that such a possibility, it can lead to psychological trauma. In a more conscious age teenager can begin to adjust his choice on their own, but he will have to make its way through the installation already learned, which will inevitably lead to internal conflict.

Do not think that if you allow the boys to wear pink and girls - to play with cars, they are just that and will be engaged. The problem of adequate gender equality is not the point.

Children must be able to show that a wide world of possibilities unfolds right in front of them, and no uncles and aunts can not solve such important questions for them. Do not be ashamed of himself and his preferences, do not tease others for things like this and, of course, should be as far as possible to throw all prejudices, which gradually lead to the false conclusion: "Boys = good = bad girl." If a child to explain to the child that he must evaluate the person as a separate entity and not as a representative of "childishness" or "girlhood", it further can independently solve the gender question for himself and not conflict with others.