5 ways to cope with the constant feeling of guilt

You wrote a comment, and then I thought that it may misinterpret. I forgot to put a smiley in the message a new friend. Minor bugs, which could not pay attention. But in the evening you can not sleep on the obsessive thoughts: how could I go wrong? Psychologists have long been studying the problem, and they have a few ways that you can overcome the obsessive sense of shame and guilt.

rumination Traps

Rumination - a term coined Ph.D. Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, a professor of psychology at Yale University, conducted the research in the field of fault management. In simple words, it is something that you can not stop thinking about some aspects of the situation that upset you.

The simplest example of rumination - when you come to get-togethers with friends, but I think that you said awkward for the evening, instead of focusing on how to have fun. And if you want to start a small business and it's not going well, then later you years of berating yourself for rash decisions, instead of having to take a lesson received.

Rumination involves not only what you see in all the negative, but also the permanent residence of unpleasant emotions. If you have a complex life stage, such circling makes only prolong the problem.

Emotions must succeed each other, and reflection and introspection cause only shame, sadness, anger. From the point of view of your brain, there is no difference between the emotional experience of bad events, and thinking about it. When these negative thoughts occur chronically, it causes stress. PhD, and Associate Professor of Medical Psychology at Columbia University's Erin Olivo:

However, a little bit to think about the past - totally normal. Medical Faculty of the University of Massachusetts conducted MRI studies to determine the effects of "brain training". Participants in the control group were asked to relax and not think about nothing, and scans showed that the brain at rest is still something wondered. Without immediate stimuli or tasks brain wanders through memories and looking for trouble there.

Understanding of past events has always been important for human existence. Perhaps our ancestors were even "default 'network' as a joke about it, neuroscientists, and gave rise to such thoughts: do not eat the purple berries, or die. Constant review of comprehension and attitudes of the past - the important elements of decision-making and self-improvement. But when meditation becomes a problem - it's like drinking a glass of wine to unwind and treat the effects of dependence on alcohol.

Correct thoughts

The author of the book "Hyde for Mom," Jennifer Reich, all the while worried that once she had betrayed his sister. During commuting, household duties, she kept thinking about what she said offensively. Her concern ultimately reflected in the work, because she could not concentrate.

However, later she realized that she regularly edited the book. Why, then, can not be edited thoughts? Instead, the phrase "I do not have to do that," she said to herself, "Delete" and recorded a new thought, for example, "A hundred can I do next?". Now she shares her life hacking editorial readers.

Thoughts Tie

Instead of letting the thoughts go too far, each time chewing, you lose customers or embarrassing to end the conversation, to reform the structure of thought.

The most simple - do cards and allocate them four areas. Two - "gains" and "losses" of events, for example, if you lost a customer - you will have more time for myself, but less revenue. And then the pros and cons of what the client would not have gone to the other executor: your pride would not be affected, but you would not have received an important lesson about the deadline.

Do not forget that you get hung up, and what you complain about your problem in social networks. The desire to speak out to explain, and you want to find the person who experienced the same thing. But in fact, so you can assure yourself more that you need to think about again and again an error.

Live the present

We are all human. We all make mistakes. Sometimes we get angry, we feel sad and feel guilty. Accept yourself - means to stop taking the universe as if it is your personal.

Mindfulness - the best anti-depressant, it avoids the fixation on the past and be open to what is happening now. Pay attention to your own breathing, the smell of rain, feeling the breeze on the hands, the taste of the toothpaste in the mouth - says moments, people and things that make your life better every minute.

When I caught myself on the fact that once again ponder the past, take a break for 5 minutes and just watch the world go by, sounds, smells and sensations. You can talk as much as necessary, that too is not a creative person to write a book, but it does not mean that it is true. Just try to check it out instead of worrying, "I had to do something."

Allow yourself Error

Psychologists recommend a simple exercise: lay your hands on the heart and tell yourself nice things friendly tone. This may be to look stupid and embarrassing, but the effectiveness of the process is rooted in decades of research.

Physical touch and soothing voice release oxytocin, so that your body will feel safe environment. Imagine, if you talk to a close friend or a child, and soon discover that the bad thoughts leave your head.