How to communicate with the person who you disliked

Friends, unlike the relatives who may be selected, but, unfortunately, not always. When bundled with best friend is a guy that annoys you, it is difficult to exclude that person from your life. Heroine understand how to behave in a situation where your loved an unpleasant one.

Hold

The second and third impressions are deceptive same as the first. At the beginning of communication, few people behaving naturally. Maybe people too willing to please you and achieved the opposite effect - silly jokes, chatted a lot, seemed insincere.

It is possible that you were not quite adequate at the time of your meeting. Bad day, jealous of your mutual friend and thousands of circumstances could affect your perception.

Leave for an option to change your mind. Do not be categorical and not do that immediately negate your communication. A month later, you may find that hostility will not go away, but at least you've given yourself a chance.

to communicate with him in a different setting

If you communicated only in private or in close company - you, he, and your mutual friend - get a chance to see what he has with others. Organize a trip to the cinema crowd or other mass activity to relieve the tension. Good for you to know how he behaves among friends, in a comfortable environment for yourself. If only society you saw him, find an opportunity to talk in private. A short talk face to face will give more information than several joint noisy evenings.

Try to recognize your negative bias

You know the state when infuriates just about anything that makes any man? He silly jokes, offers a wacky idea, says nasty little words - "Well kamooon". Psychologists call this "negative attitude." In your eye like a lens that filters all good when you look in the direction of the stimulus.

This condition can not be disabled by willpower alone, but it can be recognized. The next time you would think that a person does everything to annoy you, think about it, if he has some other reason to do so. For example, when it is late, do not rush to assume that he does not care to your expectation, and it is too conceited to take care of others. Maybe he lives in the far end of the city, and for an hour waiting for a bus at the bus stop or at the last moment lost the keys to the apartment.

If there are five different explanations why a person behaves in a certain way, choose the best scenario. As long as you do not reliably know the real reason, everyone deserves the presumption of innocence.

Be ready for the difficult choice of

Let's imagine that all previous methods were powerless, and your aversion to stimulus just gets stronger. You have several options: continue to suffer, and to pretend that you are satisfied, so as not to risk the friendship; shy away from any joint plans with the stimulus; talk to a friend about what you want to spend more time alone with her. In the latter case it is not necessary to talk about her dislike, and even more so to try to convince her friend that your mutual friend - a complete jerk. In the worst case, it will accept your opinion with hostility and move away from you. At best - will try to balance between you and try to please everyone.

Instead, tell me what you miss your personal conversations and want to see more of one on one. To keep the friendship will have to compromise.

When hostility to the stimulus is too strong, it is worth considering, and if you have a lot in common with his girlfriend. If she chooses the one who does not fit into your picture of the world, maybe your interests diverge, you've outgrown the friendship and it's time to move on.

What do you think, is it worth to suffer unpleasant people to keep a friendship?