I know how much better: 4 ways to recognize bad advice

Contact the professional consultants - psychologists, sexologists, coaches - in our society is still not decided: expensive and high risk to stumble on a cheater. It remains the good old way - to ask the advice of friends and acquaintances. They wish you well and willing to listen to for free. However, it is often harmful to friendly recommendations, or at best useless. Tell me, how do you know that bad advice, and how to keep friends without poisoning their lives.

1. A person does not have such experience

I know how much better: 4 ways to recognize bad advice

When a person gives bad advice - most likely, it does not mean that he wants to hurt you. Often friends or acquaintances sincerely willing to help, even if you do not know exactly how to do it. In addition, some people just love to share their opinions, no matter what was going on, and whether it needs to source these recommendations.

The easiest way to understand whether or not to follow the advice, - to find out whether a person has the experience, like yours. If he had never found himself in such situations, although they may present, it is unlikely his recommendations will be in any way competent. It's the same as asking cake recipe from a person who had never baked anything. Even if he is your best friend, and sincerely wants to help, preparation technology knowledge does not fall into his head.

To see if a friend really understands the situation or just loves to give advice, try to remember if there were cases when it is after hearing you say that you can not help, or it has an opinion about everything.

2. If he is very experienced in your problem - it is also always helps to

Extensive experience in your problem, too, does not guarantee that people will give good advice, especially if it is a friend or acquaintance who experienced a similar situation, not a specialist in a particular area you desired.

Much depends on how the experience was for that person. If negative - one will certainly warn you to exaggerate the threat or even discourage. In the case of a positive experience, on the contrary, people will lean in the opposite direction and will still be biased. This is especially true if it has only a one-time experience, for example, he once had a chance to look for an apartment for the pickup. But if he had done so many times already, felt the positive and negative sides, his advice may qualify for some kind of objectivity.

3. The advice comes from a source that you do not trust

I know how much better: 4 ways to recognize bad advice

Before you ask for advice in any area, whether it is finance, work or relationships, pay attention, would you like to your financial status, career or relationships were similar to what there is in this man. You can admire the skill friend to enjoy life, to achieve success, to look good, but if she chooses solitude and never lived with a partner, we can hardly expect that it will help you to understand your family life. Especially worth wary if a person pleased with the result, but this result is not a role model for you. For example, a friend never aspired to greater earnings, and you ask her whether to change their jobs more lucrative, but responsible.

4. The Council heard in the form of a directive

Each person's experience is different too, so you can pick up a one-stop solution. In any situation, there are several exits, so the more categorical sound advice, the more cautious you should listen to it.

If a man speaks in the spirit of the phrase: "You have to do so", the "right to be like that, and everything else is a mistake," "In no case do not do so," it speaks of his bias and desire to be right. In this case, sometimes these people have not time to insist that you do so as they want to reproach you for something that is not listened to, and convince in the wrong. Such support is particularly toxic often comes from parents and older relatives.

How, then, to give advice and share their problems with loved ones?

I know how much better: 4 ways to recognize bad advice

The most important thing you can do to support someone - to listen. This happens quite often, a person no longer need to learn what to do, and throw out your feelings. Give it clear that he is not alone with his trouble.

If you say something still need or want, try to help the other person take a look at the situation from the outside. Tell me about all the possible solutions that you can see, it does not matter, you think they are right or not. People who ask others what they should do, they want to pass on to someone responsible for his action. Giving prescriptive advice, you risk becoming guilty for what happens when a contact will follow him. Instead, help a person to see that his situation is not hopeless. Give me a few more angles at which you can look at a problem, tell me you're in any case it is supported and you do not care about his condition, but a concrete decision should remain with the interlocutor.

If you do not just want to throw out the emotions, and you really need advice in a difficult situation, try to find expert opinion, the ideal - different. Now there are affordable professional help for any reason: financial advisors, family therapists, sexologists. Not the fact that the first available technician will be competent or suitable advice to you, but, having collected enough information, the opposing views, you can make more or less objective picture and make an informed decision.