When self-care can turn to escape from problems

Taking care of yourself - an important trend which promotes attention to your feelings, physical condition and needs. However, you can take care of themselves in different ways, and sometimes it's not a healthy way to deal with stress. Investigated as a compassionate attitude towards yourself can worsen anxiety and depression and what to do to prevent this from happening.

Personal Care as an escape from life

The rituals of self-care can be divided into two groups: the "action" - active taking care of yourself - and "inactivity" - the liberation of themselves from the usual duties to recover and gain strength.

And he and the other type of care is useful in certain situations. For example, when a person decides to do something, how long ago did not reach the hands: general cleaning in the house, disassemble or work e-mail to get rid of unnecessary things - it is a form of self-care. But if he spends every weekend for household chores, do not feel rested, then at some point refuse to clean, order food delivery, lie on the couch and realize that the world of that will not collapse - too self-care.

According to clinical psychologist from New York, Lara Frederick, anxious or depressed people are more likely to practice supine form of self-care. After a long time spent in the experiences and concerns, the idea is to score at all and relax seems to release.

At first, it really works, until it turns into a habit of hiding from problems and obligations of real life in a self-help rituals.

If anxiety prevents you start something important, or you do not find joy in what you are doing something, focused on taking care of yourself, you can temporarily withdraw from this state - Lara Friedrich explains. - Do you think that you are caring for them, and it allows you to feel good. As a result, you are temporarily avoid these bad feelings. But as soon as you're done, you again feel sadness or anxiety, because you are not addressing the root causes of your depression or anxiety.

How do you know that you're stuck in a cycle of avoidance

The main thing that should give rituals to care for themselves - it does not matter, it's a hot tub, a favorite book, a sport or a hearty dinner - the feeling that you are mentally and physically rest, recharge your batteries. But if, returning from a nice practice to the usual daily activities, you experience anger, devastation, a new wave of anxiety - that means taking care of yourself for you - a way to escape from unpleasant tasks or difficult decisions.

The second sign that your care is harmful to mental health - your actions are often spontaneous than thoughtful. For example, you suddenly decide to go for a manicure instead of going to a restaurant or the gym instead.

The frequency of self-care rituals also important. Cancel plans with friends, to be alone with him and draw boundaries - not a bad idea. But if this happens every time and you will always find a way to stay at home - it's avoidance.

How to practice the care that really will help you

It is important to remember that care - it does not always allow yourself to relax, to reduce the requirements, have pity on himself. Sometimes it is to pull yourself by the ears to the difficult but important conversation, give a kick to tackle health or refuse pleasant, but a bad habit.

Here are some guidelines that can help make taking care of yourself more healthy:

Attach rituals to care for themselves for a particular purpose

To make sure you're not trying to run away from the problems on the pretext of taking care of yourself, ask yourself - what you want to do, brings you closer to your goals: professional, personal, emotional? Ask this question every time and be honest with the answer - then you can notice that you do something overtly destructive. to balance the active and inactive self-care

As we have said, both types of self-care are good if you know how to balance them. Do not focus on what will help you feel better at a particular moment, and that will facilitate your life in perspective. For example, in deciding whether or not to work on weekends, I think, how it will affect the upcoming week: it will become less tense, or, on the contrary, you will feel worse because they do not rest.

Do it for yourself breaks for caring more meaningful

Important reason to take a break sometimes useful - it helps to balance the emotions, to collect his thoughts and regain energy. But when anxiety and depression breaks are becoming so frequent and prolonged, that do more harm than good.

To care is not turned into avoidance, plan it in advance and be aware that after you get back to business as usual. Make a plan for what you you want to do first thing after the break, then you will be easier to tune in to a routine, even if it is unpleasant.