Sarcastic and wise quotes Michael Zhvanetskogo

Zhvanetskiy - one of those authors who manage to give an uncluttered mind, sarcastic and totally complete form. And most importantly, in his sketches, each finds himself - though perhaps that we would not really want to.

Today, we have chosen the most vivid expressions and aphorisms favorite satirist.

On the life of

The story is difficult to enter, but it's easy to plunge.

Fortune smiles brave ... And then laughs at them for a long time!

Alcohol in small doses is harmless in any quantity.

The highest degree of embarrassment - two views encountered in the keyhole.

The optimist believes that we live in the best of all worlds. A pessimist fears that the way it is.

Everything is going well, just past.

Forbidden things there, have not recommended by things.

Do you want everything at once, and you get nothing and gradually.

In the beginning was the Word .... However, judging by the developments further word was unprintable.

All day long you do not sleep through the night do not eat - of course, you get tired ...

Wisdom does not always come with age. It happens that age comes alone.

Any car will last until the end of life, if you go quite dashing.

The most unfortunate animal - octopus. He and legs from the ears, and hands of assholes, and asshole itself - with ears.

It is better to love to engage in labor than labor to make love.

Only birthday you will know how much the world of unnecessary things.

A clear conscience - a sign of a bad memory.

Happy to you? At various times this question answered in different ways, but always - negative.

All happy does not happen. If happy, then do not end.

Great happiness - to see a real bloody heroic life and it does not participate. Happiness - it's time to see the toilet and before him to run.

nice to live not forbid. But you can prevent.

If you argue with an idiot, it probably does the same thing he did.

I said, "Or I'm going to live well, or my work will become immortal." And life is turned back in the direction of the works.

Dobpo always triumphs over evil, mean, who won, he is good.

About Russia

Russia - a country of talents.

Talent weight, no one to work. When one feels that the whole world is lying?

When you're on a plane to announce that the time difference between Moscow and New York, a total of 8 hours.

History of Russia - the fight against ignorance and injustice.

Our freedom resembles a traffic light, which lit three fires at once.

We have only what can not be. We just can not be. We just do not want that, that can not be.

In a country where all the stolen along the fence, the road is not easy to ask.

Today, the words: "There is one good TV transmission ..." - reminiscent of denunciation.

A normal person in our country responds to the surroundings only one - he drinks. Therefore, non-drinking still a bastard.

We have no one astray, we do not care where to go.

On Man

If you are told that you are a multi-faceted personality - do not flatter yourself. Maybe, I mean, you bastard, you bastard, and the parasite at the same time.

Have you seen a man who never lies? It is difficult to see it all the same is avoided.

The hardest person is given that is not given to him.

Honest person can easily find out by how clumsy it makes meanness.

In every major personality is something fine print. The difference between the intelligent and wise, clever with great difficulty, gets out of the situation, which does not get wise.

To think so hard, so most people will judge.

People are divided into those to whom you can rely on those to whom it is necessary to put.

If there was someone ready to move mountains for them will necessarily go the other, ready to wring his neck.

Every person - architect of his own happiness and the anvil of another.

Born to crawl - crawl through everywhere.

Some have both hemispheres are protected by the skull, others - pants.

Some seem brave, because they are afraid to run away.

It's hard to be the last bitch - always someone behind is attached!

On the serious

Life is short. And we should be able to. Must be able to walk away from a bad movie. Throw a bad book. Away from the bad man. A lot of them.

There is nothing that hurts a person, like shards of their own happiness.

What is the writer's life? Any thoughts aloud. What is the writer's death? The publication.

Well, at least five minutes a day, think bad about yourself. When you feel bad about thinking - this one ... But of himself five minutes a day ... it's like thirty minutes of jogging.

Never exaggerate the stupidity of enemies and loyalty to friends.

Currently, the loneliness - when you're up all night talking to themselves - and you do not understand.

Guys, so if we are neck-deep in shit, join hands!