Pioneers of the rubber industry or more patents of "mad inventor", who clearly does not know what condoms are, and why they are needed

Sex - it's great and nice, and with it, perhaps, would argue no adult person who at some point in its long and tortuous course of life had solemnly leave the proud ranks of virgins. But the disease, sexually transmitted diseases, and unwanted pregnancies - it is quite uncomfortable, not funny and not cool.

And it is here to the rescue comes a condom, it is a rubber product of prime necessity, which can rightly be considered the most useful invention of mankind from the wheel of time.

By the way, about condoms and inventions. If you think that such a broad and fertile field for the activity could prevent a devastating invasion of all kinds of "I'm a mother of inventors" and "I'm a mother of engineers", who want to earn an extra penny on some "brilliant patent", then you are deeply wrong.

So, dear friends, today we have collected for you some delightful inventions of the "rubber industry pioneers", who obviously did not understand what the condom is the most miserable, and why, in fact, it is so necessary to mankind.

The condom with a hole

The phrase "condom with a hole" in itself sounds either like a bad pun, or as a malicious joke pharmacist, or as the apotheosis of feminine guile, whose heart is afraid of every free man, not yet ready for that, to prematurely become pope. But no, it's not a joke, a patent on a condom with a hole really exists in all seriousness.

Here's a diagram of this latex disaster, the creator of which assures that his "invention is designed for couples who wish to conceive a child, but at the same time reduce the risk of transmission of sexually transmitted diseases." Item 34 is a lace, which is necessary for pulling "immediately before ejaculation to release the reinforcing ring 122 which holds in place the distal opening of the cap."

I honestly do not even know then where to start. Start, perhaps, with extensive knowledge of the author of the patent in the field of biology and with the fact that the very idea of ​​such a masterpiece - it's like a mosquito net, a hole that can easily fly a jet fighter? Or that the presence of "reinforcing ring 122 'in close proximity of, ahem, sensitive area of ​​the body in and of itself sounds dangerously?

Or to try to imagine the face of the poor guy who is desperately searching for a "part 34" between the legs of his partner to set free their future children? Honestly, it's all very strange.

Handle condom

Lord, it's just a dream of every student anxious. But seriously, we really difficult to imagine a person who for some reason need a pen with a condom, whereas, like all normal people use for storing such valuable and important items wallet, pocket, well, or, in extreme cases, passport Russian Federation.

In any case, this patent does exist, but since most of us rarely face the prospect of a sudden hot sex during a geometry lesson in the reality of such an interesting idea as long as it still has not been embodied.

Cross-applicator for putting on a condom

No, seriously, did the world really is at least one person over 16 years, which would be difficult to pull yourself to our dignity condom without the help here this remarkable device, which you can admire in the picture below? Meet in front of you "cross-shaped applicator for easy putting on a condom."

This device is designed to make life easier for ordinary mortals, because the "filled the air cavity near the distal tip of the condom is fixed in the slot of a rectangular strip which covers the condom over the entire length from base to tip and has two additional elements that straighten condom laterally direction from above the slot center. " Damn, guys, seriously, can you with such simplifications somewhere to go to NASA?

Condom with si ..., sorry, breast

Warning, alarm, code red! Repeat, we have a code red! Urgent call here of Sigmund Freud, the inventor bad!

Well, in general, without comment, could get better, but if the question of contraception suddenly decided to go himself Giger.

Music condom with a force sensor

Yes, all of the names is understandable, US patent number US5163447 - it really is a musical condom with a force sensor, which measures how "close" you are in contact with your partner, and if all is well, begins to play for you kakuyu- a fun melody.

First, it is difficult to imagine how much would cost a one-time miracle of technology, if someone really took to realize such a creative project to life, and secondly the musical condom, seriously? If only it were still lights, built-in calculator and Internet access via Wi-Fi. And yes, what concerns us most of all: what will happen to a force sensor, if a user accidentally unlucky "play into the wrong gate"?