Photo shoot for the Image Bank was his mistake

Spanish journalist Niccolo Massarello blithely agreed to withdraw from a photographer who specializes in working for photo banks.

Then Massarelo began to find their photos in the most unexpected places: with the help of his face were selling alcohol, milk, talked about the serious illness of the genitals, and yet he is portrayed on the cover of the amateur werewolf books about monsters. We publish the story hapless journalist in the first person.

Last year I had problems with relationships. A very big problem. With these problems I want to rob a bank, denounce accomplices, with all the precautions to fall under the witness protection program, never to meet with any of the previous life. Therefore, when my photographer friend invited me to his film, I thought it was a pleasant diversion. He specializes in Stock Photography - and this is not a glamorous photo shoot, but beggars can not be choosers like me.

I went to his studio an hour later, the situation is completely broken: all night arguing with the girl. But when a friend started shooting, my mind cleared and I like it all started. I asked: "And what, someone really buy these photos?" He changed the lens and said: "Well, see you soon."

When we finished, I signed a form stating that the photos are now owned by my friend and he has the right to sell them. Now I know that it was the biggest mistake of my life. A few months later I found that my photo illustrated an article on the website Those Catholic Men. The site wearing the slogan - "The site is made by Catholics. For Catholics ". According to the section, "About", it was "an online resource for Catholics working during the turmoil of our post-Christian secular age." The paper with my picture speaks about "Protestants and terrorists." Now it is already removed from the site.

In itself, this was not so bad, but at that moment I realized that I could not control what happened to my face. Anyone with access to the Internet and some amount of money could buy my pictures and do with them whatever you like: I represent the seller of cigarettes face a national campaign to destroy horses or photo to illustrate my article about premature ejaculation. Worse, I signed a waiver of his pictures, even without receiving their money.

Soon my face appeared on the advertising of some Colombian liquor and gluten-free products from the manufacturer Costa beverages. By the time my complicated relationship ended, so I was even no one to complain to.

In Saudi Arabia, Germany and Venezuela, my pictures used to promote the most wild things - I often is confused or disgusted. I just photographed to feel better, but in the end my face contemplation made me worse every day.

Someone told me that he saw my photos on a giant billboard in Madrid, but I could not shoot him. Each of Aberdeen (Scotland) said that he had seen someone like me on a billboard near the hardware store. Friend from Tokyo saw my picture in the dumpster, I poked accusatory finger at those who are not sending debris for recycling.

My portraits are not only used for publicity or propaganda - they illustrate the article. For example, with these headlines: "How to deal with assholes" and "vengeful ex: when hatred appears before children." In another article, I portrayed the obsessive passer-by who stick to the girls.

I think in the bases photo banks have millions of male persons - but for some reason, the editors of these papers chose mine. It turns out that I look like the most vindictive, the most intrusive idiot of them all. This, of course, could not amuse my self-esteem.

Even my retouched photo was used as the image for a video with the song on YouTube. I have no idea what the song, but the video at the time I write this, only 860 views, so that it is I was not too worried.

The same evening, when I learned about the song from YouTube, a friend sent me a link to samizdat novel Scott Bertnessa "Werewolf of Northwood." This is the second book in the series "Monsters in the Midwest," and it refers to the Monster Hunter named Dallas. Book for Kindle costs only three dollars. On the cover - my face with pointed ears, wearing a torn T-shirt I'm in.

There was also a Czech advertising products for shaving, which was used as many as four pictures of me and of my beard. I took it as a compliment: it means that my facial hair is very attractive for Czech men. However, even this could not outweigh the news, I learned later.

One morning, when I woke up, my friend wrote WhatsApp from Venezuela. She asked if I suffer from paraphimosis - serious illness of the genitals. I replied: "Maybe, once I had any problems, but now I do not remember anything like that, and that?" And she says: "Nico, you are now imagine paraphimosis in Venezuela."

And it is true: January 8, 2017 account of the Venezuelan newspaper El Nacional published my photo and tweet about paraphimosis - a complication of phimosis, when the head of the penis foreskin pinched and can not close it. This condition is very painful and potentially dangerous: the lack of blood flow can cause gangrene and the need to remove a member. And this tweet saw their four million subscribers.

All this is clearly spiraled out of control. Shortly after the news about the fact that I am now symbolizes paraphimosis, I received a voice message from my friend Sam, who lives in Sydney. Immediately I thought: "Please do not terrible disease of genitals." And I was lucky Sam said I was the face of the advertising campaign of the Australian ISP Exetel. My photos are placed throughout Australia: on billboards, airports, metro stations and bus stops. My face was convinced 24 million Australians connect to the Internet is through Exetel. I read about the company, and it seemed to me not so awful: according to their page in the "Wikipedia", in 2009, they spent a third of the profits to a program for the protection of animal species threatened with extinction. I can not find confirmation that they still do it, but that's something, right?

Of course, I was pleased to learn that now my face is selling an unlimited data plan provider for 55 Australian dollars per month - and does not illustrate the article about dealing with assholes. But in general, little has changed for me.

I understand that I can not complain: agreeing to this survey, I was thrilled, and then he signed the agreement on the waiver of the photos. There are many people who do not agree to the use of their portraits, and with them all over the world are doing nasty memes. Still, I'm sorry about the day when he agreed to star. Yes, then I'm a little distracted from their experiences and amused, but this effect can not be compared with the fact that now I do not know what to expect and where my face appears in the next time.